Brown rice is my friend aka an empty colon is a happy colon

Burning Man campmates
2009

I'm all the way to the left in the lime green dress.
The guy holding me is my buddy O Canada from
(wait for it.... wait for it....
wait
for
it....)
Canada!
Part of our camp had left including Steve before the picture had been taken.
I stayed an extra 2 days after this was taken.
******************

Me and my buddy Kai.

I do craft shows with her Mom all summer & fall.
She's my buddy.
This is at Apple Hill, California.
Don't you love our tie-dyed pumpkin shirts?? Yeah. I'm rocking the stripes.
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Fashion Shoot.

Yeah. That's really my purple hair. No extensions.
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Day #2

I got up early this morning & took a hooping class. I have to work on my opposite direction hooping. New goal: Hoop with fire next year at Burning Man.

I had a break thru this afternoon. Have I told you guys that I'm doing a fashion show in Dec and it's featuring all my fashions?? I thought there would be other designers but no. Just me.

It's called "Luscious Ladies: A FAT girl Fashion show".

Tomorrow is the shoot for the poster along with the model call. Sorry Miss size 12. You have to be at least a size 14+ to play in our game.

I'm starting tonight on a gold/maroon brocade tuxedo with this amazing fur collar & cuffs. Pants will be made from the opposite side of the brocade fabric with a fur cuff at bottom.

I'll take pics & post as I go along.

So happy to be back!

So It's Nov 1st and I'm back.

What I did on my summer and now Fall vacation.

I went to Burning Man for 12! days.

That's me in the mirror. Big Bess is our newest Van!
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And that's me last night at the Freakers Ball.
My friend Lenae took this pic. I think I rocked it!
(*************************)

So where to begin.

First off I was down to 192 which put me at 40 pounds lost for this year. Then I had a pb sandwich at Burning man & it was my catalyst to gain back about 9 pounds.

I'm feeling healthy but a little clunky right now. I'm going anti-sugar, no caffeine, and getting off the allergy foods. I want to get rid of that 10-15 pounds by Christmas. Hello cheap city run gym membership. Joining tomorrow morning & getting a 2 month membership.

My summer rocked! I was gone virtually every weds to Sunday in Tahoe. Rented an awesome room in a cabin by the Upper Truckee River. It's a house that crafter friends of mine have & they offered me the room. (According to spell check "crafter" is misspelled. huh.)

Anyway... Burning Man was incredible. I was on the Playa for 12 days. I interviewed/auditioned for a job for next year and got it. I'll be an art tour guide! Very very excited!

We still have the crank van & it's running great. Found a mechanic who actually knew what he was doing & got it up & running. It even passed smog! Yeah!

Oh and I have a facebook account. Lauren Mari Hufft Gifford is the name to look for. You can also become a fan of the store Prism Magic Clothing & Imports.

Speaking of the store. Me love me store!

Seriously.

I'm getting rid of the vintage & moving more into the sex/corsets/dance/plus size clothing.

I went to a lingerie/erotica convention in Vegas & just fell in love with the clothes. I'll post some pic's later this week.

What else? Ok. This is HUGE!!

I'm doing a fashion show in Dec. It's called (get this) "Luscious Ladies: A Fat Girl Fashion Show" for women size 14 +.

I'm doing all the outfits. Twenty five different outfits. I'll be sewing most of them including a WEDDING GOWN. Of course it's not going to be a "normal" wedding gown. I just can't do "normal".

Model casting happens this Weds or Thurs. Photo shoot with myself & Meredith (the woman who owns the space that we're having it at) happens on Weds afternoon.

Me spinning fire at Burning Man on the Shiva Vista stage. I helped work on the construction of the stage & got to be the stage manager one night.

That's it for now. I'll have more and promise to show up at least twice a week.

Missing you!

Anti Candida diet phase 2.

Guess who mis-read the original cleanse instructions. Yeah. That would be me.

Phase 1 was suppose to only last 6 weeks.  We did it almost 3 months. So this morning we started phase 2.  

Not much difference from phase 1 except my one sweet treat is now gone. 

Our morning drink was cranberry juice concentrate, 1 tsp apple cider vinegar & 1 tsp grade b maple syrup.  Now it's just 2 tsp cranberry juice concentrate and water.  And since we've not had anything sweet in a while it wasn't bad.  (Way to clean out those kidneys!)

We can slowly start to reintroduce fruit and other grains, nuts into our diet. 

Steve was excited because one of the breakfast items was buckwheat pancakes with vanilla. Guess what we're having on sat morning!

I added grapefruit pectin to my morning green drink.  Tasted kind of weird but I know I'll get used to it just like I did with everything else over the past 3 months.

I'm not hip to adding any fruit at this time.  It's not really in season and I'm not a fan of off season, picked too soon, trucked 1000 miles fruit. 

I am excited to add other nuts.  Funny how it's the little things like nuts give us pleasure.

*****************

Girl Scout Cookies

This is my PSA for the day.

My friend Robin's troupe has been in here twice selling cookies.  She told me that they only make 30 cents a box!  WTF??? 

So today they were here 4 hours & sold a record 18 boxes.  18 x .30= $5.40  profit.  Four hours.

Don't buy cookies.  Write them a check.  Find your local troupe.  Save the calories.  Help send a girl to camp.  

*******************

Biggest Loser

Carlos cracks me up.  He pretty much summed up how I feel about BL.  

Quit crying you guys.

Seriously.  

Put on your big girl panties and just deal with it.

"I'm just going home."  Ok.  Go.  Let me help you pack.

And Bob is no longer Bob.  I'm calling him Bawlb.  QUIT CRYING!

But please enjoy your 100 calorie packs of jello, Fiber one, chewing gum, and save the landfill Britta!

**************

One last thing

YOVILLE has been down all day.  ALL DAY!

My addiction needs feeding.  Badly!  argggg!

Hello 10%!!! Hello 209!!!

Guess who's lost 10% since Jan 4th?  Yeah.  That's right.  This bitch right here.

209 is what the scale said 2 days in a row.  232-209 = 23 pounds or 10%.  

232 front view

209 front view

232 side view

209 side view

It's a wonderful start.  

Now onto my next 10%:  189. Yes!

******************

Guess who's hat shipment arrived today.

I love that his beard is stick way down below the bottom of the mask.

Big party here on April 11th.  "Yuri's Night" is a celebration of outer space.  

Oh yeah.  

Did I mention that I've lost 10%??

Sexy Boots

Sexy Boots

Thigh high platform.

Size 11 (too big  for my size 10 feet)

Patent leather that stretches over my calfs & thighs.

Great with a school girl kilt.

Here's the deal about boots.  I love em.  I have 7 or 8 pairs.  And I'm always on the look out for more.

Owning a vintage clothing store only supports my boot habit.  

And I have some really cool, interesting customers that I buy from.

I live in Nevada. Nevada is the ONLY state in the USA where prostitution is legal.  Ever watch "Cathouse" on HBO?  That place is about 30 mins from me.  

I have no problem with legalized prostitution.  The girls are STD tested once a month, it's taxed and they make bank.

I have a couple of customers who work at the brothels and they bring me clothes, shoes, boots, costumes, etc.  I figure the clothes aren't worn all that long and plus they're fun to have in the store.

Most of the time they just want to trade for other clothes.  

They're open about what they do and are willing to answer any and all my questions.

One told me that she doesn't do the line-up, she won't be on the HBO show and she gets about $2000 per "party".  She splits 50/50 with Dennis (the owner).  She doesn't take new clients and most are booked on line.  (Yeah.  I thought so too when she said $2000.)

Her houses are 100% paid for & she teaches the other girls how to save money, make investments so that they'll be ok once they leave the trade.

I make no judgement about these women.  I just think it should be legalized in all 50 states.  It happens all the time and by controlling it, taxing it and making sure no STD's are spread it just makes sense.

BTW:  There have been no reported STD's spread by any of the legal brothels in Nevada.

*****************

And now for something a little lighter.

May I present Lily and Ruby.

I had a Girl Scout troupe hanging out & selling cookies today.  My friend Robin had asked me if they could come by & sell this weekend.

Sure!  Bring em down.

I let people dress up all the time.  There weren't many customers today due to the crappy snowy weather.  So sure.  You can dress up but here's the rules:

1.  No fighting.  If you fight over something you're done.

2.  Respect the clothes.  If something breaks, tears or ends up with a hole come & tell me.  (I have more adults breaking zippers and stealing buttons so kids trying on clothes are NOTHING to me.)

3.  Put it back.  You can't try on a 2nd outfit until #1 is hung back up with all the buttons buttoned, the zippers zipped and the shoes put back on the rack.

4.  Pick up the feathers.  Enough said.

Lily has more style at age 8 then I have at age 48.  That kid is classy.

Ruby is 3 and I pretty much dress like her.  "Hey!  Everything is red!  It must match."  Please note her sequined horns.  I wear those almost every day.

NSV:  I wasn't tempted at all by the cookies.  Friends came in & bought a couple of boxes, opened them up & offered me some.

"No thanks."

"Oh right.  You're on a diet."

"No, I'm allergic to wheat.  Thanks anyway."

Looking at the box:  Wheat flour, corn syrup,  corn starch, soy lecithin.  No, no, no & no.  

And AND I didn't feel deprived.  Yeah!

They're coming back on Weds to sell and they left the boxes.  Not even tempted.  

****************

Tonight's dinner:

Roasted chicken breast with roasted veggies in same pan.

Been a while since I posted a recipe.

This is easy peasy!

Pre-heat oven: 375

In a roasting/baking dish:

2 Chicken breasts: seasoned w/ fresh lemon juice, dry mustard, oregano, salt, pepper, garlic & chili powder

4 small red potatoes

Broccoli

Asparagus

Carrots

Yellow bell pepper

All veggies were tossed with olive oil, salt & pepper.

Bake 1 hour or until chicken is done. 

YUMMY!!!

Just not motivated

Yup.  No motivation this morning.  Nothing to say.

Left the camera at the store so no 12:12 pics.

I need to get off my rear & get my lunch together.  But I'm  just not motivated to do it.

I wanted to just eat eat eat last night.  Made "healthy choices" but still didn't feel satisfied.  

That's the thing about eating right.  And about being on this cleanse.  I've come so far that there's no way I'm going to screw it up by bingeing on bad food.  

Oh and my new addiction:  Yoville on Facebook.  Stoopid stoopid stoopid.  

On the plus side:

Petticoats are ALL DONE!!!  Yup.  Done done done.

Ok.  I'm sorry this isn't all inspirational and stuff but I'm just not feeling it today.  

Have a day.

Weds Weds Weds

Thank you to all who voted yesterday on my dress.  My sister called & said that I looked "Dowdy & Matronly" in outfit #1.  That's how I felt in it so it's going back to Ross.  ("Do you love it?" No.)

I'm going to take dress #3 with me this morning to Lame Giant & see about Spanx.  (For all the boys out there:  Spanx is a giant girdle for the whole body.)

*****************

Anti-Candida diet update.

Wayyyyy back in Jan, Steve & I started an anti-candida diet.  Here's the link to the first post talking about it. 

We had committed to 3 months of no sugar, fruit, fermented foods, etc.  

In the 3 months:

--Steve's dandruff has disappeared

--My yeast issues under my breasts & belly have disappeared

--Toe junk is almost gone

--I've lost 21 pounds, Steve's lost about 15. (He's not the scale junkie like I am.)

We're not to have red meat but have had it a couple of times. (I love corned beef & cabbage! It was sooooo good last night.  Steve's making hash this morning for b'fast.) 

Food cravings have pretty much disappeared.  

Steve is still getting sinus infections and has a rash all over his forehead & nose.  The neti pot has taken care of the latest sinus infection.  

Both are signs of candida infection.  

So we're going to continue on.  

We're feeling healthier and that's a great thing.

***************

12:12 pm: Looking cute in my St Patty's day outfit.

It's my reflection.  But it also gives you a good luck at part of the store.

I love my green Doc Martins.  

Brides of March pub crawl, weight loss goals & more!

You're going to love this one.  Some of you will relate, some of you just won't understand.

All week I've been helping people get their costumes together for the "Brides of March" pub crawl.  As usual I don't have a costume or any idea of what I'm going to do.

It's Saturday morning, I'm at the store.  The day before one of my customers had tried on a long poofy slip that goes under a wedding gown.  It's marked with a 28" waist.  I liked the way it looked on her & decided that I would try it on.

I shimmied it up over my rear & my belly.  The zipper is open all the way and there's no way it will zip.  I look in the mirror & decide it's not really what I want. 

And then I discover that it's stuck.  As in not going up, not going back down.  I'm stuck in this thing.  

I have on a white blouse and am wearing one of my big chunky necklaces.  My hair is pulled back into a bun.  And now I'm stuck in this giant puffy to the floor skirt.

Customers would come in & I'm behind the counter so they can't see the skirt until I come out from behind the counter.  And why was saturday the day of "I've never been in your store before.  Thought I would check it out." customers?  They have no clue that I do wear costumes once in a while but from the waist up I look presentable.  

I get the tilted head like a dog who's heard a strange sound look. 

"Going to the Brides pub crawl?" I'd ask.  

ahhhhhh. Ok.

Going to the bathroom is a challenge.  How do those brides do that?? 

I try later in the day but no.  It's not going anywhere.  It's stuck in the middle of my belly where I have a dividing line where my underwear sits.  Wanna feel fat?  Get stuck in a pouffy skirt.

211 pound woman in a pouffy skirt.  Pretty pretty pretty.

I call Mr. T'dots in the afternoon.  "I'm stuck in a skirt.  Guess I'll wear it tonight.  Could you bring me my leather corset, my leather boots & my small purse?  I'll change here."

Somehow the S & M bride was born.  

After wearing it for about 10 hours the waist must have relaxed enough because I was able to step out of it when I got home.  

I felt sexy, fun and great once the corset went on. Funny how being bound up in leather makes a pouffy girl feel sexy.  

The "S & M" Bride 

Brides of March 2009. 

Love my leather corset!

*********************

Mr. T'dots looking lovely in pink.

It was a fun day.  We did a ton of walking, didn't have anything to drink except tonic water.  

****************

I've plateaued with my weight over the past 2 weeks.  The scale is stuck at 211.  I really want to lose another 5-6 pounds by my nieces wedding on the 4th.  I'm thinking of rejoining SparkPeople for the food journal.

I've  become accountable by my daily blogging but now it's time to up the ante & really figure out how much I'm eating every day.

I know my issue is still portion control.  Multi tasking while eating doesn't help either.  I'm eating b'fast right now while I blog.  Big bites, not chewed properly before swallowing. Suddenly my plate is empty & I've not tasted a thing.  

This weeks goals:

1.  Finish those damn petticoats!  I have 6 left to mend

2.  Clean off craft table at store

3.  Finish my sister's necklace

4.  Rebound 5x this week.

I'm back. Home. Yeah!

I'm home.  I've been home since Monday night.

I needed a few days to regroup and work on other things rather than spend the time blogging. I'm probably going to break this blog up into a few days.  Lots to tell, lots to share.

I left last thursday & drove to Vegas.  I had scored a room on Orbitz for $19!  (Here's my travel tip for the day.  When you get to a hotel & ask for a refrigerator tell them it's for medicine. They won't charge for a fridge that's being used for medication.)

The drive from Reno to Vegas is long & tedious.  Nevada is pretty much a desert.  With nothing else but a few small towns, brothels and long ago abandoned mines. 

The Long road. 

But every now & then you run across a gem.  Something that makes you stop & take pictures. In my case I'm part of this gem.  

Art cars in Goldfield, Nevada.

How am I part of this gem?  I dated the artist.  Rocket Bob.  Yup.  Sure did.  I have a really cool 50's kitchen table that I got out of our small relationship.  It's covered in coke lines.  Other than that it's in great shape.  And no, none of those coke lines are mine.  Food has always been my drug of choice.  

Rocket Bob & I would spend weekends going to garage sales & flea markets looking for dolls, toys and misc squawk for him to take apart & epoxy onto his cars.  

After Steve & I opened the store Bob came by & offered me a couple of cases of Pee Wee Herman dolls.  Silly me for turning that down. 

Artwork made from bombs in Hawthorne, Nevada.

There's a park that has giant flowers also made from bombs.  The strange thing is Hawthorne is a military town. I'm not really sure of the history behind using bomb shells as art but it's kind of cool to see.  And disturbing at the same time.

Thur, March 5, 12:12ish Near Walker Lake

I'm saying 12:12'ish because there's a part of driving hwy 95 that my cel phone jumps ahead 2 hours.  Steve's phone doesn't do it but mine does.  I have my alarm set at 12:12 pm and I noticed that the stereo said it was after 12:12. I looked at my phone & sure enough it said it was 2 something.

Heading to Las Vegas BABEEEEEEEEEE!!!

On the road again

I'm heading out right after I finish this blog.  I'm going to Las Vegas for a costume convention.

I'm super excited and am looking forward to taking 100 pictures.  But I'm sad that I'm going alone. My travel partner dropped out due to $$ and her dog is suddenly having seizures. Wanna join me?

Believe it or not I found a room on Orbitz for $19 a night.  It's the cheapest I've ever gotten outside of staying with friends. 

A friend also scored me 2 tickets to these guys:

Blue Man Group

Sending me to a costume convention is like sending the alcoholic to the wine convention.  

Here's the scary part for me.  Since I have so many food allergies and have been doing an anti-candida diet since the 1st of the year food is an issue.

Sure I'm packing food and am good about eating what I pack but schlepping around my cooler and packing food to eat while I'm at the convention isn't very convenient.  I will be parking about a mile away from the convention center & it's not like I can just pack a sandwich to throw in my backpack.

And leaving the convention to go eat really is a pain.  I  know I'll figure something out.  

I'll be back late Monday.  You all have a great weekend!  

**************

12:12 pm 

My friend showing me her nails

Family, travel and Food

Family.  Love em or not.  Fortunately for me I love em. 

My oldest niece is getting married in April.  I spent this past weekend in San Francisco staying with her and her fiance.  Her shower was on Saturday.

My niece did something wonderful for me.  She told the hostesses about my food allergies & gave them a list of what I can/can't eat so that I'd be able to eat at the shower.  I had packed some food but ended up taking it all home.  Not only did I eat to my hearts content I took part of left overs with me.

One of the hostesses is a vegetarian and said "I'm so used to not being able to eat anything at gatherings it was no big deal to make sure you could eat."

Love that woman.

Love my niece for doing this for me.

Me, Bride-to-be, Mother o'Bride.

******************

Food Food Food

This anti-candida diet is getting to be tedious after 2 months. 

Mr. T'dots and I have become bored with our food.  (This from the same person who posted "Rule of 5" and "Ethnic Tastes" last week.)

I really need to do some shopping and more prepping of our food.  Change things up a bit. 

I'm heading to Vegas on Thursday for a convention.  I booked a room and will be taking my cooler full of stuff.  But then I'll need to shlep my food over to the convention and figure out how to keep every thing cool & ready to eat while I'm walking around getting catalogs.  We all know that convention food is expensive & I'll have no clue what's in the dish.

There's no way I can go off what I'm doing just because I'm not prepared.  

This is about cleaning my body out.  Not letting crap in. Right?

Oh and I may have an extra free ticket for Blue Man Group on friday night.  Any takers?

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12:12 Friday

Steaming a wedding gown

March 14th is the big "Brides of March" pub crawl.  It's where everyone dresses up in bridal gowns, bridesmaid dresses and other wedding related costumes.  No grooms.  All the men are dressed like brides or bridesmaids.  

2007 Brides of March

Mr. T'dots so pretty in pink! 

Yours truly looking so fresh in an all silk flower number.

Spices, Lost, Top Chef

Lots and Lots of things to talk about today.

First off a follow-up to yesterday's posts.  

So many times we're frustrated with our food.  Boring, uninspired, the same thing every meal, every day.

By combining yesterday's "Rule of Five" post with todays "Ethnic Tastes" you may find a way to change your food around. 

Please let me know what you think and how you experimented with both the Rule of Five and the Ethnic Tastes.

Ethnic Tastes:  Adapted from Chad Sarno

Italian: Garlic, basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, onions, parsley, sage, marjoram, lemon, olives, roma tomatoes, pine nuts, capers.

Thai:  Holy basil, lemon grass, sour tamarind, curry, ginger, galangal root, kefir lime, cilantro, mint, turmeric, coriander, cumin, chiles, coconut, rice, morning glorie (swamp spinach), corn, cauliflower, anise, long bean.

Mexican & Spanish:  Cilantro, cumin, garlic, olives, coriander, onions, parsley, tamarind, avocado, paprika, chili’s, cinnamon, bell pepper, jicama.

Japanese & Chinese: Ginger, garlic, sesame, miso, soy sauce, basil, cardamom, coriander, scallions, star anise, wasabi, lime, mungbean sprouts, bok choy, sea veggies, snow peas, mushrooms, cucumber.

African:  Cilantro, cinnamon, ginger, cumin, coriander, mint, saffron, chives, fenugreek, rose, olives, orange, eggplant.

Middle Eastern/Greek:  Garlic, mint, oregano, dill, cinnamon, parsley, anise, chili’s, cilantro, saffron, sesame, thyme, marjoram, clove, poppy seed, fenugreek, onion, eggplant, tomato, lemon, cucumber, spinach, olives, pomegranate, pine nuts.

Eastern Indian:  Garlic, ginger, cardamom, curry, cumin, garam-masala, cinnamon, clove, chili’s, anise, fenugreek, fennel seed, mint, mustard, pepper, tamarind, sesame, turmeric, onions, saffron, rose, cauliflower, spinach, lemon, pomegranate, bell peppers, eggplant, tomato.

*******************

SPOILER ALLERT!!!!! SPOILER ALLERT!!!!!!

If you've taped "Top Chef" or "Lost" STOP READING.

Continue on with your day and we'll see when you've gotten caught up.

You've been warned.

**********************

Top Chef

Oh Carla.  Ohhhhhh Heaven-help-us Carla.

I've been rooting for you since I saw those crazy Marty Feldman eyes.  

Granted I was thrilled that Stefan didn't win.  But I really wanted you to win.  I love you Carla. I really really do.

You knew in judging that because you didn't do what you had planned and went with the other LOSERs ideas that you come in first.  The judges loved your sauces but didn't care for the meat or the dessert.  

I thought it was fun that Fabio was part of the chefs who ate the final meal.  He asked a very good question "Is this dish worth $100,000.?"  

And I cheered when Hosea gave Stefan the alligator.  But of course "SUPER STEFAN" and his cocky attitude didn't mind.  He's been cooking for 100 years and can cook anything.

WTG Hosea.  

I'll miss you Carla.

*****************

Lost!

Oh. My. God.

Ben.  What the f?

John.  What the f?

Questions: 

1.  What time period is John & the other people from the plane?

2.  Have Kate, Jack & Hurley gone back in time?  Cause it looks like Jin is in the 70's with the Dharma bus.

3.  Who are those other people who are going thru the stuff and where'd the canoe's come from?

Best line of the night: 

Hurley "Hey! Am I talking to a guy in a wheelchair?"

*****************

12:12 pm Weds

Kelley aka Pinktini picking up her petticoat.

Rule of 5

JUMP!!!

JUMP!!!

This is my friend Chelsea.  She has a burlesque group called "Bohemian Burlesque".  We help them get costumes.  She had come by to pick up petticoats and decided she'd put all 4 on.

Hello photo shoot!  I'm going to use this in my April ad.  

She's also an amazing fire spinner.  Her husband fire spins and has a habit of lighting swords on fire and swishing those around.  

Love my Chelsea!

*******************

Rule of Five

How many times have you made something & thought "this needs something but what?".  You try adding more salt and that just isn't it.

When I was taking raw food classes one of my teachers passed out "The Rule of Five".  It's by Chad Sarno and it's made my cooking grow by leaps and bounds!

By adding each of the 5 components to a dish you'll get a full flavor. 

1.   Salt:  Himalayan sea crystals, celtic sea salt, sea week, dulse, celery.

2.    Sweet:  Agave nectar, fruit, dates, raisins, carrots, beets, stevia. 

3.   Acid/Sour:  Vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice

 4.   Heat:  Chili’s, garlic, ginger, thai basil (holy basil), pepper

 5.   Savory:  Ethnic spices that make a dish have it’s regional taste.

 Tomorrow I'll be posting regional spice lists to help you add a little more to your diet.

****************

12:12 pm Monday

Mike & Me.

Mike aka Man Babe is an interesting guy.  He has a big theme camp at Burning Man called 

"Sex Filth Avenue".  

I'm stressed

Mr. T'dots and I never ever argue about money.  Unlike my previous relationships I was upfront about our money from day 1.

We have worked together since before we got married.  We took his tie-dye hobby & made it into our business 14 years ago. 

In the beginning we sat down & talked about money.  He came from a family that paid cash for everything.  I came from a family that sometimes had a budget.  Dad was self employed and Mom held a steady job.  Mr T'dots had never had a credit card before he married me.  Due to my ex husband's folly I had shitty credit.  (After 20 years he still shows up on my credit report. Thanks Ted.)  

But thanks to shitty fucked up (sorry Mom if you're reading this) insurance we are one of those Americans that are screwed financially.  If you have Netflix watch Michael Moore's "Sicko".  It sums up our life.

Mr T'dots had a stroke in 2006.  He was in ICU for 8 days & then the Neuro wing for another 8. Turned out our insurance wouldn't pay for rehab for a stroke so he had to come home & I was the caregiver.  

After insurance paid what they deemed "reasonable charges" we still owe the hospital $68,000. Add to that the dr's who are taking monthly payments of $25 along with new medical bill due to me breaking my ankle summer 2007, my skin cancer costs and Mr T'dots fainting and EMT's saying he was having a heart attack so there's another ambulance ride, ER & hospital costs = I'm stressed.

There was a huge fund raiser for us after his stroke.  Three different groups got together & had a music festival.  It raised about $8000.  We were able to live off of that for about 3 months.  

Our employees were amazing.  They were willing to work for free to keep the tie-dye business going.  I paid them anyway.

Friends showed up at all the markets we did to help me setup, sell & break down.  

But it's nearing the end of the month and it's when I start to get stressed about money.  "Just keep the roof over our head" is my mantra. 

So today I'm stressed.  Today I have to have a good day in the store to keep the roof over our head.

Petticoat anyone??

***********

12:12 Dying petticoats purple

I'm testing out new dye from our dye supplier.  He sent me 3 different dyes that dye different fabrics.  Since it's rare that I know what a petticoat is made out of I need to combine dyes.  I'm loving the shade of violet in the washer.  I'll find out today if it's the right dye to continue on dying petticoats.

Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa

Mea culpa.

My mistake.

Turns out my Sister was the 1st to notice my weight loss without being prompted.  Two weeks ago when I went to see her she said something as I was getting out of the car.  I thought she was being a smart ass.  Turns out she was being complemental.  

She and I talk almost every day.  Sometimes twice a day.  It's just been in the past 10 years that we've gotten close.  She's the oldest and I'm the youngest with 2 siblings inbetween. 

We joke that even though we have the same biological parents we were raised by different parents.  She had young parents.  I had older parents.

By the time I came along my parents were relaxed with rules. (There's 7.5 years difference between me & my closest sibling.  She would be unhappy if I told the difference in our ages. I'm closer in age to her daughters than I am to her.) I never had a curfew, was only sent to my room once and was pretty much left alone.

But we're very alike in many ways.  

We're both smart asses.  "Quick witted" would be the polite thing to say.

We both have a creative streak.  

We're both problem solvers.

We both are "take charge" people.

And we both share the same physical body shape.  Oh and we both enhance our "natural" hair color.  Except mine has purple, red & orange.  

She & I talked yesterday about my weight loss.

"Goals?"

1.  10%

2. Below 200

3.  185 is what I weighed when I got back from Thailand.  Most of my wardrobe fits me at 185.

"Ultimate goal?"

To be 150 on my 50'th birthday.  I had the same goal for my 40th.  To be 140 on my 40th. Ummmm yeah.  Eight years later & I'd still like to be 148.  

So I'm sorry that I took your complement as folly.  Thank you for noticing.

******************

Here are the views of my hat.

Back view:  Peacock feathers, netting & tied onto top hat band with yarn. 

Side view.  I wore my hair in a pony so that all you saw was the netting.

****************

12:12 Sunday

Washing dishes at the store.

20 pounds gone! GONE GONE GONE!!!!

212 212 212 212! 

20 pounds!!!!!! Gone!  Lost!

and

SOMEONE NOTICED without me saying ANYTHING!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how healthy and happy I feel.  

My normal WI day is sunday.  I stepped on the scale yesterday & stepped off.  "212? Really?" Step back on.  Yup. 212.  

Then it sunk in.  "I've lost 20 pounds. Twenty T W E N T Y pounds!"  I whooped, hollered and danced down the hallway.  Ohhhhhh.  This is so worth it. 

The next big celebration:  209.  That puts me at 10%.    Oh yeah.  

Funny thing:  when I gained weight & got to 212 I wasn't celebrating.  I was pissed.  Mad. Angry and disappointed at myself for getting to be that size.  Now I'm thrilled to be down to that weight.  Make sense? 

Then to top it off a customer said yesterday "You've lost weight!"  

Not "Have you lost weight?" but a statement of fact.  "You've lost weight."  

I hugged her for being the first to notice.  

Then she said "I need to lose 10 pounds by July."

"10 pounds by July?  Easy peasie."  I say.  

She was trying on clothes & felt fat.  "Listen Melissa you're at the weight I'd love to be at. I know you feel fat but right now you're my goal."

I don't know if that made her feel better but it was true.

Good by fat.  Hellooooo health!

******************

Mardi Gras party 2/21/09

We sponsored the Reno Blues Society's Mardi Gras party. One more reason for dress up!  

I took a top hat, added netting to the back that hung down past my pony tail and added peacock feathers to fan out along the top.

Leather corset, fishnets, cut off purple jacket, lime green petti pants and green Doc Martens finished off the outfit.  Oh and I added a net bustle to the rear ala Moulin Rouge. 

Mr. T'dots is wearing his black zoot suit with purple pants, silver glitter shoes and a pink boa.

We didn't win the costume contest but it's ok.  We lost to some fantastic costumes.

I'll post close ups of the hat tomorrow.  It's what I was making at 12:12.

Take a deeppppp breath!

Breathe!

Enjoy the moment.

Calmly. Peacefully. Seriously.

Photo taken at a nursery in So Cal.

So many things to do today but right now it's time to relax and enjoy the moment.  Breathe.  Sit up straight and place both feet flat under your desk.  Breathe.  Deep fillupthelungs breath. Exhale.  Do it again.  

Write the word BREATHE on a post-it & put it on your monitor so that you'll remember to breathe.  

Now it's time to face the day.  Or evening.  Depends on when you're reading this. ;-)

*******************

This is what I have to tackle over the next few days at the store.  I scored 24 petticoats while I was in So Cal.  I've started to wash them and they'll need new elastic, mending and some will get dyed.  

Thinking about this drains my energy.  

Just like the thought of weight loss drains my energy I know it's something that I alone have to tackle.  

Each petticoat will be dealt with one at a time.  

Each bite, meal, ounce and pound will be dealt with one at time.

I have to make plans for each meal.  I have to make plans for each petticoat.

I have to make sure I have all the elements on hand for both to be a success.  

Elastic, thread, washer, dye to make the petticoats presentable.

Fresh food not full of preservatives or chemicals to make the food presentable.

Judging my success with the petticoats by how they sell.

Judging my success with weight by how I feel/look.

Amazing how we can correlate daily activities with the connection to weight.

******************

12:12 pm

Lunch time!  Enjoying mini bell peppers with humus.

I love love love mini bells.  Costco sells a giant bag that Mr T'dots & I will devour in 2 maybe 3 days.  They're sweet and go great with humus.

TGIF

This is how I feel today:

So many things to get done & so many ways to look at my tasks.

I have 1001+ things to do at the store.  I start a project but then get distracted by another. Owner ADhD.  Ooooo! Shiney Things!  

The other thing that's distracting me is the weather.  It's a warm & beautiful 50 today in Reno. We turned off the heater & left the door open for the dog at the house.  People are riding bikes and the skate park is full.  

We're suppose to have another big storm hit us this weekend.  So I'll grab the warmth when I can.

I'm also basking in the glow of losing 19 pounds.  I'm wearing a sweater today that was wayyy too tight over the holidays.  I had "bra smile" pretty bad.  Today it fits!  No bra smile for this gal.

One thing that I've missed is feeling "cute".  I'm not a "cute" kind of gal.  But today I do feel cute.  When one weighs 214 one doesn't think of cute as a description.  

I tried on my "fat" jeans last night.  I'm still about 20 pounds too fat for my fat jeans.  But I'm figuring at this rate I should fit in them by mid May.  Clothes are slowly coming back into rotation.   Yeah!

***************

12:12 pm thursday:

Enjoying my salad.

My niece told me that I needed to start taking pictures of myself & not of what is in front of me. Since I have lunch around 12-1 most of these will be me with food.