Tuesday, April 28, 2009

You smoking crack pt 2 aka Reno 911

The van saga continues.

You ever watch Reno 911?  Well it's not taped here but in Long Beach, Cal.  We don't have palm trees but we do have the inept police dept.

I decided that I would call the police dept & ask if I could use one of the drug sniffing dogs to see if they could find more drugs.  Laws are changing here in NV.  They don't have to have a reason for search & seizure. Get pulled over & they may decide to search.  

Anyway I called the Reno P.D. & explained the story of the van.  Bought it at an auction, found a gun, found a crack pipe, etc.  Woman takes my info & says "I'll have someone call you back."

About an hour later I hear someone pounding on the side door at the store.  Store is full of customers so I excuse myself & walk outside.  Mr. Pulice man is standing at the door banging.

"Can I help you?"

"We have a report of a van that has guns & drugs at this location."  


"Why are you pounding on that door?" I ask
"Because I've never been here before & didn't know how  to enter."  Einstein answers
"Come this way thru the front door."

Hum... I've got 9 huge windows with doors on either side of the windows that are propped open.  

We come in.  I explain that no, I don't have a van that has guns & drugs but I bought a van that I've found  both a gun &  a crack pipe in.  I'd like to know if I could have the drug dogs sniff out my van to see if there's anything else in it.

All of the customers now know this story.  I tell them all to "Help yourselves.  I need to show this guy the van."

We go out.  He puts on gloves. "Show me the gun & the pipe."
"You guys have the gun.  The pipe has been destroyed." 
"Ma'm we are busy.  We don't have time to come & search your van for drugs."
"I never asked you to come & search.  I called to find out if I could have the dogs sniff for drugs." (jesus h. christ I'm thinking.)

Now here's the advice he gives me.  
"Think about where you would hide drugs in this van and look for them."
"I'm not that person.  I don't do drugs." I tell the guy
"Then have your boyfriend do it."  He says
"My husband's not that guy either." I say
"Do you know how expensive it is for us to bring the dogs along with a trainer out?  We can't just do this for every person who calls."

Yeah.  I could have done this all over the phone.  All you had to do was call me back.  Nimrods. 

My friend Nicki suggested we have a search party for the van.  I'm thinking that's not a bad idea. 
Controlled Burn
This is the fire spinning troupe I'm in.  I'm easy to find.  Over to the left I'm the one not spinning fire but have glow poi, green & purple.  

Since this was taken I've started to spin fire.  I can't perform with the group until I've safetied 3 times.  I'm 2 down, 1 to go.  

Safety is the position of putting out fires.  Very very important job.

Now you know what I do every weds night.
New blog
Someone turned me onto this  blog.  I laughed so hard I had to pee.


Need to find me?  Send a search party.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

You smoking crack?

No, but my car is.
You're going to love this story.

Back in November we bought this van at an impound auction for $1800.  

When I brought it home & started cleaning it out I found a gun.  Called the police & also found the original impound ticket (no insurance, no license, no registration) so we had the name of the guy who owned the car before us.  

I tell the cop the story about the auction.  They sell the vehicles with all the owners stuff in it because here in Nevada they have until 1 minute before the start of the auction to pay on the impound & claim the vehicle.

He puts on his gloves & picks up the gun.  "It's a toy" he says. "This is all plastic."


"In my 20 years of being a cop this is the most realistic toy gun I've ever seen.  It has a removable chamber for bullets, it makes the noise of being cocked." Says Mr. Policeman.

"Take it" I say.  We are a gun free house.  Even a toy gun (except the bright green water pistols) aren't welcome in our house.

The next day we take the van to our mechanic.  

Three months later & $2400 in repair bills we bring the van home where it sits in our driveway.  We don't have the money to insure or register it until this past week.

Steve drives the van on Friday & feels something in the arm rest.
This crack pipe.
Doesn't it look like he's hand model in this pic? 

I feel like taking the van to the cops & letting the drug sniffing dogs see what else they can find. As I've been cleaning out the van I've found 9 air fresheners, collection of key chains, tools, really nice scissors, pay stubs and photos.  The scary thing about the photos is that some were taken at an apartment building that's about 5 blocks from our house.   

On thursday I took the car to get a smog check.  The battery was dead & Steve had to charge it overnight.

Turns out that when the battery cables are disconnected or the battery dies so does the information in the computer.  It takes driving the vehicle 3-5 days before all the info comes back into memory.  

My friend suggested that we have it smugged & blessed.  I said that it would probably end up being a scene from the Exorcist with the car spinning up in the air & throwing up auto fluid.

Van for sale.  Crack pipe optional.

Friday, April 24, 2009

You have my permission to succeed

Seriously.  You have my permission to succeed.  

To have a sense of accomplishment.  This is my pat on the back for a job well done.  

You deserve this success.  

What's bringing  this on?  Well a couple of things.

1.  I've read a couple of blogs today that are moaning about not being able to lose weight.  Self sabotage, too many things going on in their lives, bored with their lives, etc are excuses that are being used for not being able to lose weight.

There will always be reasons to not lose weight. 
There will always be reasons to lose weight right.this.second. 

What is it in our make-up or ways of thinking  that we don't deserve to be thin, healthy, content?  Why do we think that we deserve all the shit that happens to us?  

Years ago in my single days I would date losers.  Most were drunks, users, broke &  well, just shits.  

One day I woke up & thought "Why do I think this is what I'm worth?"

Suddenly those losers disappeared and the quality of men improved.  

Why can't this thought process apply to my quality of living?  Why do I think that being overweight, sick and tire is what I'm worth?

2.  What does it take for us to kick our lifestyle change in gear?

What was your "clicking" point to get you off your butt and get going?  

We'll see people who smoke & who's relatives have died from smoke related illnesses.  We'll judge & say "Don't they remember that their own FATHER died from lung cancer?? But they'll still smoke?"  

How about in my own case:  My Dad died from heart disease.  Yet 30 years after his death I'm overweight & not in the best shape.  I saw him go from hospital bed to hospital bed for the last 5 years of his life.

You'd think that would change my life.  But no.  

I have relatives that have diabetes brought on by weight & lack of exercise.  That should kick me in the rear but no.  

My own food allergies could, no make that WILL kill me.  They cause me to gain weight, get sick, have breathing problems, joint inflammation YET until this past Jan I still ate what I'm not suppose to.

Why?  Why would I do all this?  

Reasons for losing weight:
1.  Health.
2.  Look hotter
3.  Shopping is easier.  Buy things because they look good not just because they fit.

What was my clicking point?  I just decided that NOW was the time.  I couldn't wait until tomorrow, next week, after the next big event.  It had to happen NOW. 
And it is happening NOW.

So I'm giving myself permission to succeed.  

I'm giving you permission to succeed, too.
Today's boots:

I found these in a thrift store for $9.  The boot gods decided they were meant for me. 
Platform, comfortable & fit around the calf.  Oh yeah.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Dina. Dina. Dina.

Dina Dina Dina.
Toast & sticks.  Do the math.
Note to everyone else: Don't you hate it when you're reading a blog & you have no clue what's going on.  Well this is one of those times.  

Tricia this is your fault.  Just sayin'. 
I want these. Really really want these.
I am craving these Demonia boots like you wouldn't believe.  Canvas.  Black. Straps. I can soooo use these to spin fire.  I've been informed that I shouldn't spin fire in my black with flame boots because I don't want to get fuel on them.

These are $60 on Ebay.  Shipping brings them to $72.  

I want these.  I dream about these.  I can dance in these bad boys.  I can jump in these bad boys.  I can look hot in these bad boys.  

Canvas means they can be flame retardanted.  (Ok not a word but I'm making it one.)

I reach 199 and those will-be-mine.  

In the meantime I'm wearing these today:
My green Doc Martins.  
Yes I'm sporting fishnets with them.  My leg covering of choice. 

Dina:  These boots are made for walkin', hone.  

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Get off my back. I'll blog when I want to.

Calm down.  Can't a girl be busy?  Can't a girl have a life away from you freaks of nature??  In the words of Kathy Griffin "Jesus H Christ on a Cross!"  

First off I'm busy.  Every night this week I've got something happening.
Secondly I'm busy.  Every morning I've got something happening.
I do own a store.  I do go away once in a while.  Just wait until Summer.  I'm gone 4-5 days every week and I don't own a lap-top. (But am open to being gifted one.  Mac please. Mac snob here.)

This past weekend we had 2 Earth Day festivals. One was in Squaw Valley, the other was here in Reno.
Me in front of the booth.  
Please note the huge hat.  Skin cancer will do that to ya. I slathered on 45 spf.  
I have a giant head.  That hat is a size 8 that's been stretched out to fit.
And of course I have on my kick ass flame boots.  And why do people feel the need to ask me how much I paid for those?  My new response "Less than a house payment". 
Squaw Valley Trashion Show
This 2 pc outfit was made from 500 Clif bar wrappers.

Made from a garden umbrella and measuring tape found in forest.
I have more photos on my facebook page.  It's open to anyone.  PrismMagic Sparks is the name to search.  You can even opt to be my friend.  It's the store's page. 
Scale report: 205!
Very very solid 205.  Which means -27 since Jan 4.  I'll take it baby.

It's been pretty nice & warm here.  My appetite has diminished.  Saturday night driving home from the festival both Steve & I were tired.  Neither one of us wanted to cook.  I just wanted beef & a potato.  

We saw a sign for $13.95 all you can eat prime rib at a dive casino so we went for it.  It was the best prime rib I've had in years.

All I had was a baked potato & 3 servings of prime rib.  Nothing else.  No salad. No fruit.  No veggies.  Nada. Nothing.  Zip.  Yes.  I said 3 servings.  ("Meat. It's what's festering in your colon.") 

I'm feeling thin.  Funny thing (and I think I've said this before) when I got up to 205 I know I didn't feel thin.  And to everyone else in the world 205 is still fat.  I should look up the bmi but nah.  (Go for it.  I'm 5'8".)

I'm wearing clothes I've not worn in a couple of years.  

And people are starting to notice.  I LOVE that.  "Why yes I've dropped 27 pounds.  Thanks for noticing."
One more thing:
Ever hear of the term "Dry Rain"?  We're having that phenomenon happen right now.  It happens a lot in the desert.  It rains but dries up before hitting the ground because it's too hot to hit the ground.  

Reno averages 8" of rainfall a year & that's mostly snow.  It's hardly every humid but right now it's very very humid due to the dry rain.

Ok freaks.  That's my post for today. *kisses*

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Happy Birthday my Brother!

This is my Brother:
Yesterday was his birthday.
In true family tradition I'm wishing him a happy birthday a day late.

I've bragged about Clint in the past.  Growing up he wasn't the "normal" brother.  He never teased me, never picked on me, never tattled.  Could have been the 7 year age difference.  My Mom once told me that she never had to worry about cleaning out his pockets when doing laundry.  He wasn't the kind of kid that picked up bugs & kept them to play with later.

Now he's a Dad to 2 wonderful kids.  (I'm biased.  His daughter is a "mini-me" and his son is my Godson.)  His wife is amazing, beautiful, funny and helps him keep is act together.  

Happy birthday to you!  You live in a zoo!  You look like a MONKEYYYYYYYYY and you smell like one toooooooooooooooo!

I love this picture.
Let's talk diet.

Weight loss.  Life journey.  Choices.  Journalling.  Exercise.  Water. No sugar. No whites: flour, pasta, potatoes.  Inspirations.  Uninspired.  30 minutes a day.  Nothing after 8pm.  Breakfast. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.  Fake it til you make it. Put the fork down between bites.  Don't do anything while eating.  Eat in front of a mirror.  Leave a bite or 2 on your plate.  Use a smaller plate.  Use a smaller fork.  Use chopsticks.  Ice water burns more calories than room temperature water.  Eat your rainbow. 1 oz of cheese is equal to your thumb. A serving of meat is the size of a deck of cards.  Measure measure measure.  Points. Fiber. Fat.  An empty colon is a happy colon. Eat right. Baked. Broiled. Not fried.  Couch to 5 k. No carbs.  Cabbage soup diet.  Zero point soup.  Thin jeans.  Fat pants.  Your starting point is my goal. 10%.  No fruit after noon.  Don't mix veggies, carbs and protein.  Have 2 out of three.  No coffee.  Green tea.  Whole grains.  Olive oil.  Five small meals a day.  Pineapple only for 3 days.  Hard boiled eggs.  No salt. Lightly steam.  Fish.  Fish.  Fish.  Lemon juice, cayenne pepper and maple syrup.  Brush and floss. Be the last one at the table eating. Taste each bite.  Savour each bite. Make each bite count.

What am I missing?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Yuri's Night, Costumes and more!

Miss me?  I know I know.
I've been scarce but I have great excuses.

1.  Excuse #1:  Getting ready for the big party this past Saturday night.

Yuri's night is an international party that happens all over the world on the same night.  It honors the 1st man in space Yuri something.  

We were slammed all week.  On saturday (the day of the party) we had people knocking on the doors after we closed looking for costumes.  "I'll take anything!"  Everything that was silver, gold, sparkley or spacey was long gone.  

Party night came & we were out until 1:45 am!  

Here's a few pictures from the event:
Fire spinning.
That's one single poi that's about the size of a bowling ball.  

This guy is the one spinning the big poi.  He loves fire and is really really fantastic at spinning.
This is Sabra.  She's a very close friend.  She also happens to sublet part of our store.
She's an amazing woman.  She's had breast cancer 3 times, ovarian cancer once and has been in remission for 4 years. She grew up in Ely, NV which is a "down winder" town. Down winder is a term used for areas in Nevada that are down wind from the nuclear bomb tests.

Oh and that's not her real hair.  It's an orange wig.  But she has orange & gold hair under it.  She hot glued the hat to the wig so it's stuck there for life. 
Nathan & Me
Nathan is another good friend.  He, Robin & I are working on the Burning Man web site updating the local shopping areas.  He has the best costumes and it's always a surprise to see what he's wearing.  I'd love to raid his closet except he weighs about 130-140 pounds.  

I'm wearing a lime green faux ostrich blazer, black corset, short pink & yellow petticoat, black fishnets with pink fence nets over the top & my GREEN Doc Martins. 

I had 2 people grab my hair & ask if it was really all mine.  
This was my favorite costume of the night.
I don't know this guy but I was amazed at his creativity.
This is my friend Chelsea.  She has an aerial troupe called Dragonfly Aerials
She has a burlesque troupe called Bohemian Burlesque.
She organized 4 aerialists to hang from the ceiling and perform during one of the dj's sets.
Excuse #2
Normally I post in the morning but lately I've been practicing poi & facebooking.  

I'm attempting to cut back on my morning computer time so that I can get to the store with time  to spare for sewing.  

I'm in the middle of making a lime green fur bunny suit.  I finished silk flame pants yesterday. I'm hoping to get some personal projects made in the next week.

I do miss you all.  I do read your blogs.  Just haven't had the time to comment.


Saturday, April 11, 2009

Today's outlook: Feeling thin!

I started this about 2 hours ago.  The store is SLAMMED!  OH YEAH!

We had pancakes for breaky.  Loved them.  

I'll post the recipe later.

I feel thin today.  Skirt is a gap XL that's been sitting in my closet for the past 2 years.

Tights aren't rolling down my fat belly.  They're actually staying where they need to stay.

I feel thin, clean inside and healthy.

Tonight:  BIG partay!  I'll post more tomorrow.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Under Construction

Finally.  Finally.  Finally

Construction is finally happening.  I've waited 2 years for this.  Talk about moving slow. But now it's happening.

Today they're removing the concrete from the front of the store, the plumber is here putting water lines for the landscaping.

The electrician should be here tomorrow or monday to lay the wires for the sign.

The sign should be installed next week.

Landscaping starts after the sign.

Two years.  Two f'ing years I've waited for this to happen.  

The sign I have now cost me $300 in permits and it's just a piece of plywood attached to the side of my building.

In the meantime here's some random pictures from the inside of the store.
zebra hat made by local roller derby queen

Locally made soap.  I LOVE this stuff!

Hanging lantern.  
That's it for now.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

New Goals, Family, Moving forward

What a great weekend in San Francisco!

Steve, Mom and Me
And the Golden Gate Bridge
The wedding was fun, beautiful and perfect.  

The weather was absolutely perfect.  68 & slight winds.  Not a cloud in the sky the whole time we were there.

My brother was the officiant.  He's an "I can marry you" minister.  It was great seeing him work.  Remember the bacheloret wedding between Tricia & Ryan?  He was the guy who married them.  He's got a reality show coming out in May called "Hitched or Ditched" on the CW.   

The Bride & Groom looked absolutely beautiful.  Both were radiant and so happy.  

Lisa (my niece, the bride) had talked to the caterer about my food restrictions.  Turned out most of what they picked was ok for me to eat!  Steve & I were thrilled.  We passed on the cupcakes and opted for sparkling water with lime instead of alcohol.  Not a big deal.  

I think I was on the dance floor for most of the night.  My 9 year old niece has been taking hip-hop dance lessons and did not want to quit dancing.  She said to me "I'm tired but the dance just has to get out of me!  I can't stop!"

She kept having dance-offs with people and would win.  

Great times.  Full of memories to last forever.
We packed a cooler & 2 bags of food to go.  We weren't sure if we'd be close to a grocery store and we didn't want to be tempted.

Well.... We gave into temptation.  A couple of times.  

Next door to our hotel was a gluten free pizza place!  We gave in.  The crust was 100% grain free.  Made with bean flours, yeast, vinegar & garlic.  We substituted the tomato sauce with pesto & cilantro.  Most expensive pizza I've ever had.  $26.50 for a 12" pie.  But Mom treated.

We split the pizza in half & took our leftovers with us to the pre-wedding party on Friday night. Pasta was being served & we didn't want to feel left out.  So pizza it was.  

Our other splurge:  Hash browns.  Wrong for so many reasons.  Fried, made from white potatoes and well just wrong. Oh and we had avocados.  Forbidden fruit on anti-candida but tasted so good.  yum.
Back to reality on Monday.

Scale said I was up 2 pounds.  Not surprised.  We hit a buffet on sunday night & I ate my weight in shrimp.  

New short term goal:  199 by Memorial day.  That's about 1 pound a week, 5 pounds a month. Very very do-able.

Weather is warming up.  Time to get the bike out & get it tuned.  It's a 5 speed beach cruiser and is great for hitting the neighborhood.  Reno is very hilly so it's not that great for distance riding.

one more thing

This guy has lost 100 pounds.  I love his blog.  Go congratulate him.  

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Thursday, April 2, 2009

San Francisco Here we come!

Fog City Wedding time!

This is going to be a brief blog.

STeve & I are packing rightthisminute for our trip to San Francisco.

My niece Lisa is getting married this weekend and we're leaving a few days early to enjoy some SF city fun.

Everybody enjoy your weekend.  Play nice & say "Please" and "Thank You".

I'll see you on Monday.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Happy April Fools Day aka An ode to my Friend Teri

Happy April Fools day!

I'll be you're wondering why I have a picture of Mary Ingals from Little House on the Prairie. Well I'll tell ya.

Today's post is going to be all about one of my closest and bestest friends Teri.  If you're looking for weight loss stories today's not going to be one of them.  I woke up at 5 am thinking about my adventures with Teri & decided that I really needed to blog about them.

Our history:

Teri & I worked together about 20 years ago in radio.  I was a dj & she was in sales.  We just hit it off as friends and have never looked back.

The thing about Teri is that she loves a really good practical joke.  She's great at dishing them out but also great at having them played on her.

April fools & Halloween are her 2 favorite days of the year.

I had been warned by friends and her family to watch out on April Fools.  She had been known to pull some great pranks.  

Year #1 The day went by & she ignored me which made me crazy.  I kept expecting something to happen.  "That was part of your prank.  I knew it would make you wonder what was going to happen."

Year #2 she had pre-planned a bunch of stuff for everyone but it fell thru when her husband had left her the night before.  

She showed up to work with puffy eyes and said "he left me".  

None of us believed her.  "Great joke."

Turned out she was serious.

Year #3  We both had gone thru the big breakups with jerks (mine got another woman pregnant.  Hers was just an ass.) and decided it was time for us to become housemates.

She had my boss call me & pretend to be from the health dept telling me that there had been reports from a few men with STD's and they all had used my name.

First off Harry (my boss) was terrible at character voices.  Secondly he used the name Hunter S. Thompson.  

Oh part of this story is that we shared a phone line & answering machine.

During this time I was so mentally messed up from my break up that I had taken a step back from dating.  No men in my bed. No men in my life.  Period.  So there was no way I was linked.

How to get back at Teri?  

I got on the phone & started calling every single man I knew.  "Call me back & leave a message saying you heard from the health dept and want to know what this is about."

They called their friends to leave messages.  

By the time she got home the machine was full of strange men calling me to ask about the health dept.  
Ok.  Why the Mary Ingals photo?  

Teri looks like her.  


We used it to our advantage.  (Yes. I said "Our" advantage.)

We'd go out & convince men that she was Mary from Little House.  They'd buy us dinner, drinks,  show tickets, etc.  Our prey was tourists.  Never local men.  We'd get dinner & they'd get a story to tell when they got home.  ("Remember that show 'Little House on the Prairie'? Remember the blind chick? You're not going to believe who I had dinner with in Reno.") 

"I tried doing a few after school specials but I was type cast as the 'girl next door' and couldn't get good roles."  She'd tell them. "So now I'm selling radio time in Reno". (Which was true.) 

She'd do the Mary is blind move: arms out & saying "Mama?? Papa?? Laura??"  

Well a couple of years ago she had mis-emailed me about a dinner party.  I had been part of an email list and decided it was time for her to be pranked.

I emailed the hostess of the party.  Explained the Mary Ingalls connection and how Teri loved being told she looked like the chick from Little House.  

Hostess took the joke & ran with it.  Needless to say I believe that was the last and final time Mary Ingalls has been used by Teri.

There's more stories:
--The day after halloween & finding over 100 pumpkins in my front yard from her.
--Finding a 10# fish under my driver seat then putting it in her car after saran wrapping the steering wheel & seat together
--Ditching her at b'fast while she was in the bathroom.  I got the whole table to leave her behind.  (The radio station was paying for it. She wasn't left with the bill.)
--She & her husband having sex in my bathroom during Steve's & my wedding reception. Our reception was at our house.  Her husband showed me that he was wearing her bra. (And I was worried about Steve's friends... HA!)
--She had a secret wedding on her lunch hour and didn't tell anyone but me.  They got married a month later and eventually told of the previous wedding so it's ok that I knew about it before everyone else.

There's more. A lot more.

Teri you're my hero. 

You ran away at 18 & joined the circus.
You ran away & moved to Pismo after a 3 day vacation.
You have no fear.
You've been thru hell and back and have the best stories about the trip.

I'm glad we're friends.