Tuesday, April 28, 2009

You smoking crack pt 2 aka Reno 911

The van saga continues.

You ever watch Reno 911?  Well it's not taped here but in Long Beach, Cal.  We don't have palm trees but we do have the inept police dept.

I decided that I would call the police dept & ask if I could use one of the drug sniffing dogs to see if they could find more drugs.  Laws are changing here in NV.  They don't have to have a reason for search & seizure. Get pulled over & they may decide to search.  

Anyway I called the Reno P.D. & explained the story of the van.  Bought it at an auction, found a gun, found a crack pipe, etc.  Woman takes my info & says "I'll have someone call you back."

About an hour later I hear someone pounding on the side door at the store.  Store is full of customers so I excuse myself & walk outside.  Mr. Pulice man is standing at the door banging.

"Can I help you?"

"We have a report of a van that has guns & drugs at this location."  

Oh.dear.god.

"Why are you pounding on that door?" I ask
"Because I've never been here before & didn't know how  to enter."  Einstein answers
"Come this way thru the front door."

Hum... I've got 9 huge windows with doors on either side of the windows that are propped open.  

We come in.  I explain that no, I don't have a van that has guns & drugs but I bought a van that I've found  both a gun &  a crack pipe in.  I'd like to know if I could have the drug dogs sniff out my van to see if there's anything else in it.

All of the customers now know this story.  I tell them all to "Help yourselves.  I need to show this guy the van."

We go out.  He puts on gloves. "Show me the gun & the pipe."
"You guys have the gun.  The pipe has been destroyed." 
"Ma'm we are busy.  We don't have time to come & search your van for drugs."
"I never asked you to come & search.  I called to find out if I could have the dogs sniff for drugs." (jesus h. christ I'm thinking.)

Now here's the advice he gives me.  
"Think about where you would hide drugs in this van and look for them."
"I'm not that person.  I don't do drugs." I tell the guy
"Then have your boyfriend do it."  He says
"My husband's not that guy either." I say
"Do you know how expensive it is for us to bring the dogs along with a trainer out?  We can't just do this for every person who calls."

Yeah.  I could have done this all over the phone.  All you had to do was call me back.  Nimrods. 

My friend Nicki suggested we have a search party for the van.  I'm thinking that's not a bad idea. 
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Controlled Burn
This is the fire spinning troupe I'm in.  I'm easy to find.  Over to the left I'm the one not spinning fire but have glow poi, green & purple.  

Since this was taken I've started to spin fire.  I can't perform with the group until I've safetied 3 times.  I'm 2 down, 1 to go.  

Safety is the position of putting out fires.  Very very important job.

Now you know what I do every weds night.
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New blog
Someone turned me onto this  blog.  I laughed so hard I had to pee.

Enjoy.

Need to find me?  Send a search party.

2 comments:

Fat[free]Me said...

Good grief! useless police dept! OOoooh, fire spinning looks great!

wildfluffysheep said...

Man, those POlice wasted their own time. Stupid.

Spinning fire is a bit cool (or hot, whatever) missus!

Thanks for directing me to that crazy blog.