Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Happy April Fools Day aka An ode to my Friend Teri

Happy April Fools day!

I'll be you're wondering why I have a picture of Mary Ingals from Little House on the Prairie. Well I'll tell ya.

Today's post is going to be all about one of my closest and bestest friends Teri.  If you're looking for weight loss stories today's not going to be one of them.  I woke up at 5 am thinking about my adventures with Teri & decided that I really needed to blog about them.

Our history:

Teri & I worked together about 20 years ago in radio.  I was a dj & she was in sales.  We just hit it off as friends and have never looked back.

The thing about Teri is that she loves a really good practical joke.  She's great at dishing them out but also great at having them played on her.

April fools & Halloween are her 2 favorite days of the year.

I had been warned by friends and her family to watch out on April Fools.  She had been known to pull some great pranks.  

Year #1 The day went by & she ignored me which made me crazy.  I kept expecting something to happen.  "That was part of your prank.  I knew it would make you wonder what was going to happen."

Year #2 she had pre-planned a bunch of stuff for everyone but it fell thru when her husband had left her the night before.  

She showed up to work with puffy eyes and said "he left me".  

None of us believed her.  "Great joke."

Turned out she was serious.

Year #3  We both had gone thru the big breakups with jerks (mine got another woman pregnant.  Hers was just an ass.) and decided it was time for us to become housemates.

She had my boss call me & pretend to be from the health dept telling me that there had been reports from a few men with STD's and they all had used my name.

First off Harry (my boss) was terrible at character voices.  Secondly he used the name Hunter S. Thompson.  

Oh part of this story is that we shared a phone line & answering machine.

During this time I was so mentally messed up from my break up that I had taken a step back from dating.  No men in my bed. No men in my life.  Period.  So there was no way I was linked.

How to get back at Teri?  

I got on the phone & started calling every single man I knew.  "Call me back & leave a message saying you heard from the health dept and want to know what this is about."

They called their friends to leave messages.  

By the time she got home the machine was full of strange men calling me to ask about the health dept.  
Ok.  Why the Mary Ingals photo?  

Teri looks like her.  


We used it to our advantage.  (Yes. I said "Our" advantage.)

We'd go out & convince men that she was Mary from Little House.  They'd buy us dinner, drinks,  show tickets, etc.  Our prey was tourists.  Never local men.  We'd get dinner & they'd get a story to tell when they got home.  ("Remember that show 'Little House on the Prairie'? Remember the blind chick? You're not going to believe who I had dinner with in Reno.") 

"I tried doing a few after school specials but I was type cast as the 'girl next door' and couldn't get good roles."  She'd tell them. "So now I'm selling radio time in Reno". (Which was true.) 

She'd do the Mary is blind move: arms out & saying "Mama?? Papa?? Laura??"  

Well a couple of years ago she had mis-emailed me about a dinner party.  I had been part of an email list and decided it was time for her to be pranked.

I emailed the hostess of the party.  Explained the Mary Ingalls connection and how Teri loved being told she looked like the chick from Little House.  

Hostess took the joke & ran with it.  Needless to say I believe that was the last and final time Mary Ingalls has been used by Teri.

There's more stories:
--The day after halloween & finding over 100 pumpkins in my front yard from her.
--Finding a 10# fish under my driver seat then putting it in her car after saran wrapping the steering wheel & seat together
--Ditching her at b'fast while she was in the bathroom.  I got the whole table to leave her behind.  (The radio station was paying for it. She wasn't left with the bill.)
--She & her husband having sex in my bathroom during Steve's & my wedding reception. Our reception was at our house.  Her husband showed me that he was wearing her bra. (And I was worried about Steve's friends... HA!)
--She had a secret wedding on her lunch hour and didn't tell anyone but me.  They got married a month later and eventually told of the previous wedding so it's ok that I knew about it before everyone else.

There's more. A lot more.

Teri you're my hero. 

You ran away at 18 & joined the circus.
You ran away & moved to Pismo after a 3 day vacation.
You have no fear.
You've been thru hell and back and have the best stories about the trip.

I'm glad we're friends.


Fat[free]Me said...

LOL, she sounds great, I want her over here with me!

Tricia said...

This was great! You're very lucky to have a friend like this. My friends never seem to "get the joke." I need new friends!

Carlos said...

i was so much hotter for mary after she went blind. not sure what that says about me...

Teri said...

You forgot about the 100 Lawyers I called the night before April 1 telling them you had just been in an accident with a Mercedes. The dance floor I ordered you, the wooden leg and the glass eye. I had more fun with a phone book that night than anyone should ever have!

Thanks for the tribute! You are the best! Love you! Teri

wildfluffysheep said...

What a great post :D
Its great to hear about really amazing friends!

Dina said...

one great big lol, love it!