Coming Clean

Remember how I was all proud about losing 45 pounds?

Well I gained 20 back.

I know I know. "But focus on you losing the 25 pounds."

Whatever.

I'm back to blogging as of this minute. Facebook has taken over my life (Lauren Mari Hufft Gifford if you want to friend me. FYI: I don't Farmville, Fish ville or any ville so don't think I'm going to increase your levels. I'll block you the minute you invite me to join some game. No poker blitz, either.)

Tricia has been calling me a lazy bastard for not blogging.

Yeah yeah yeah.

So I'll take the hour outta the day that I spend on Book of Face and come back

1. I'm sugar free for the past week. Yeah me!
2. Did my first hoop class. It rocked. 4 more weeks & my goal is to hoop with FIRE at Burning Man.
3. We are getting a weekly box of produce. I promise that none of it will end up in the compost pile.
4. I'll post pic's tomorrow.

I'm back. Whatever Patricia. Whatever.

Good bye Appendix. Hello world!

So here's what's been happening the past month or so.

#1. I had a fashion show called Luscious Ladies: A Fat Girl Fashion show.

This is Meredith & myself in one of the publicity photos.
Meredith owns the Tree House Lounge where the fashion show was held.

Two of my models wearing "off the rack" clothes from the store.

Me pole dancing.
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Signature looks:

Rhianna is wearing lavender mylar stretch bloomers, purple corset and multi-colored mylar fur shrug.

Dixie is about 6'1". She was my closing look.
Green raw silk corset with same fabric as an open skirt.

This was my original piece.
Tuxedo with corseted sleeves, faux maroon & black fur trim on sleeves and collar.
Bloomers that looked so wonderful in person! I loved loved loved this piece.

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#2: Random photo shoot in store:

Dana Nollsch of Photo Zen called this one "When photo shoots go bad".

I love this of me. It's about 9 degrees out and one of the models had grabbed this as a prop. I had 2 different photographers playing in the store with 3 models. I aimed this at Lenea and she grabbed the photo of me.

Local model Stefani & myself. She's hot!
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#3: Made the cover!

Cover shot of local alternative magazine.
Story was about shopping locally for Christmas.
The guy next to me showed up wearing just a plane blue t-shirt. He's wearing my sweatshirt.
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#4. Had my appendix out on Dec 10.
Celebrated my birthday in the hospital.
Big gift: Got to poop & fart and then was put on solid food.

I have more pic's to publish. It'll happen.

Oh and I'm at 190 btw. 42 pounds gone this year bitches!!!!

Yes, we get SNOW in Reno.

Reno averages 8" of precipitation a year. Most of that is snow.

Today we're adding to that average.

Birdbath in our back yard.

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Today's quote from gratefulness.org

From experience we know that whenever we are truly awake and alive, we are also truly grateful.

 

David Steindl-Rast

Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer

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This morning I am grateful that I don't have to be to the store until 10.  I don't know how I'd manage my mornings if I had to be at a "normal" 8-5 job.  

I start my day around 6:30.  

Get up, do morning drink, pull out rebounder, jump 20-30 mins.  Today I added the Power Yoga video for 20 mins.  

Plan 3 meals.  Figure out what's for dinner & research recipes.

This morning:  boil chickpeas that soaked all night.  Make hummus & falafel's.  

Upload pic's & do blog.

Steve makes b'fast most of the time.  Today it's roasted red potatoes, veggies and scrambled eggs.

Make lunch

Take shower

Realize that it's 9:45 and be grateful that the hour sign on the door says "Open 10-ish to 6-ish".

How do you guys do it that have to be at work ON TIME at 8 in the morning?  

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Seared Ahi tuna with roasted veggies

Sunday night's dinner  

In a small food processor:

1 tsp black pepper corns

1 TBS mustard powder (make sure it's 100% mustard with no corn starch or other ingredients)

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 hot thai chili diced with seeds and membrane removed

1 TBS olive oil

juice of 1/4-1/2 lemon

Process away.

Coat 1 side of ahi with mixture & put mixture side down on HOT skillet.

Coat other side of ahi with mixture.

Sear about 1-2 mins on each side.

Since this had been in the freezer I let it cook all the way thru.

Very very tasty!  

Enjoy your day!

Sunday Sunday

It's SNOWING in Reno and this is what I really want to do.

Miss Molly has the right idea.  Take a nap.  Don't get anything done on a day off.  Yeah well, she's a dog and what does she know??

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First off: WI DAY!

Down 1 pound for a 3 week total of 11 pounds gone!

WUUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Scale said 221 this morning.  I was hoping for 219 but I'll take that next sunday.  

Today I'm trying to have a day without brown rice.  It's such a "crutch" food for me.  I don't want to develop an allergy to rice.  That would make me very very sad.  But again I'd move on. 

I also talked with Steve this morning about not having a starch with dinner; just a protein and veggies.  He's game. (god I love my man!)

Speaking of Steve he is just about 100% over his cold/flu/detox sickness.  We did an infra red sauna on Friday night and I think it pretty much got it out of his system.  

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This week's new habits

1.  Two days without brown rice.  Possibly 3.  I will  start incorporating buckwheat & millet into our diet.

2.  I was at a thrift store & they were giving away dvd's.  I found this one and this one.

I will alternate doing those in the morning 5x.   I'll do this along with 30 mins on the rebounder and 15-30 mins practicing fire spinning.

3.  Finish cleaning out dresser.  All that's left is my jewelry & accessory drawer.

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12:12 pm

12:12 Friday: selling masks to a customer.  He owns an ice cream shop & wanted something for the kid that holds the arrow sign directing people to his restaurant to wear.

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12:12 saturday:  practicing spinning.

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12:12 today:  Cleaning the bedroom.  The bed is covered with stuff I'm purging.

I'm in such denial about my body.  I think I'm thinner than I really am.  Seeing this photo and my HUGE arm makes me realize how much work I really need to do.

Time to get back to the bedroom.  

As we say in tie-dye world "Have a colorful day!"

Let's talk about food allergies

I realized that I really haven't talked about my food allergies and what I've gone thru in the past 8 years.

I'll start with the beginning when I was first diagnosed.

I sat on the couch and cried.  I mean cried hard.  Balled my eyes out.  For about two weeks I cried.  My life with food was OVER.  OVER!  Poor Steve.  He didn't know what to do, what to say.  He just kept saying "We'll figure this out together". 

I was vegetarian at the time and when I was told NO SOY I was stumped.  Now what? Everything has soy and if it doesn't have soy it has corn.  Now what do I do? 

I put on my big girl panties and dealt with it.  That's what I did.  

I sent the food do's & don'ts to my Mom.  "Let's deal with what you can have rather than look at what you can't."

Great advice.  I took it and ran with it.  

My friends and family try to understand and be supportive.  But then I feel like a burden.  

But like any food addict that falls off the wagon they have no clue if I'm being on program or eating whatever is put in front of me.  They've dealt with both.  Currently I'm 3 weeks on program and like any addict have visions of it being permanent.

I can't really go out to eat.  Here's an example why.  

P.F. Chang's opened here a couple of years ago.  Everyone who had gone was raving about their food.  Steve choose it as his b'day lunch location.

I have business cards printed up for the server to give to the chef.  One side has what I am allergic to, the other has what I can eat.

PF Chang's has gluten free soy sauce.  But I'm allergic to soy.  So no soy sauce on anything at a chinese place.  Most of the sauces are thickened with corn starch.  So no sauces please.  

I explain this to the server and give him the business card.  (And of course I pray that the chef doesn't spit in my food because of all my restrictions.)

I order a veggie shrimp dish.  It comes out and there's a brown sauce on it.  I taste it.  Tastes like soy. So I call over the server.  "This tastes like soy. I ordered my dish without any sauce."

He takes it back.  Comes back out later with a 2nd dish.  This time it has a creamy looking sauce.  Definitely has a corn starch look to it.  "Um... Sorry to be a pain but this still has a sauce on it that looks like it's got corn starch."

Takes it back.  Comes back out & says "The chef doesn't know what to do. "  

"Tell him to just make it dry.  He can do that, right?"

Third and final dish comes out.  Still has a sauce but I say screw it.  I'm hungry, Steve's finished his lunch so I'll just eat it.  

About 3 bites in my tongue starts to swell.  I've never ever had that happen.  And to this day it was the only time it's happened.  

I stop eating.  I'm fine. I can breathe and my tongue isn't doing any more swelling.  I call over the server.

"This has something in it that is causing a reaction.  We'll take it to go.  Steve will eat it."

There's no offer of "Sorry about all this.  We'll comp the meal."  

Instead I'm treated as if the chef's incompetence is my fault.  Call the manager over.  Again no offer of comp'ing my meal or apology.  

Her response: "I'm aware of what the chef was going thru to please you.  There seemed to be a communication issue between the server and the chef."  Aka It's my fault & the server's fault that the chef is an idiot. 

Me: "One day you'll have someone in here that will have a violent reaction because the chef was too lazy to make an allergy free meal.  You got off lucky with me.  I will never ever eat here again and I'll make sure that others with food allergies find out about my experience."

So don't eat at PF Chang's in Reno.  

I've been out with friends when all I could order is a plate of lettuce, avocado, salsa and fresh veggies.  And paying $12 for it.  

When invited over to dinner I offer to bring a dish that's "allergy friendly".  

So I cook.  At home.  A lot.   We entertain at our house inviting friends to eat here so that I can control what goes in the food.  And the majority of our friends are aware of my allergies and try to bring food that would work for me.  As much as I love that they do that I don't want them to sacrifice for my sake.

My allergies are genetic.  Chances are that my family has it.  I think that it's from my Father's side since I have a cousin who's on basically the same diet.  She's not been officially tested but her naturalpathic dr has put her on the same food restrictions. 

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One of my favorite finds!

Steve made cheese-less pizza last night.  

Pesto, chicken, broccoli on one half,  pesto, bell peppers & kalmata olives on the other half.  YUM!

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Me circa 1970-71.

My Sister told me last night that she just looks at the pictures on my blog.  "If I don't see you I don't read anything."

Here you go Sis.  Taken in the Fehring's back yard.  I have my stop sign glasses on that I got in 6th grade.  So I'm figuring 1970-71 ish.  No date on the back of the pic.  Some hair styles never change.

I feel clean inside

Almost three weeks of eating "clean" is making a huge difference in my world.  I feel clean inside. I don't really know how else to describe how I feel.  

I'm used to the routine of getting up and making plans for 3 meals along with 2 snacks.  

-Cranberry juice with apple cider & maple syrup:  check 

-Get water going for tea: check

-Open crisper & pull out all the veggies: check

-Grab container for salad and attempt to find matching top:  check (which btw:  Dear Glad, Zip lock and every other container company.  Why can't you just sell lids??  I've got plenty of bottoms and the lids seem to rip after a few dozen times of using.   And why do you have to "improve" each design.  The new & improved package of container lids don't work with your old and stale containers.  Arggg.)

-Get rice going for the day: check (I read on one of the anti-candida web sites that rice starts to mold pretty fast so it's best to make a day's worth at a time.)

-Figure out dinner & pull fish/chicken from freezer & get it in a container to marinade: check

-While eggs are going make salad for lunch:  check.

This morning was the first time where I felt like I didn't want to make anything.  I thought "I'll just order a sandwich from next door".  (There's a restaurant next door to our store.)  It takes me all of 3-5 minutes to make my lunch.  How silly to have that thought but it was the first time that an old habit has reared it's nasty ugly head.

I wonder if those thoughts will ever go away.  Taking the easy way out.  

Steve is still very sick.  And I am still very energetic.  Outside of his brain bleed I can't remember the last time he was down like this.  Poor guy.  But honestly (and I told him this last night) I'm really over him being sick.  He's also over himself being sick.

I had to cancel friends coming over tonight for  dinner.  She had been diagnosed with celiac about the same time as I had been.  She's married to a really nice guy but he doesn't do anything to help with her allergies.  It makes me really appreciate Steve.  Even though he doesn't have my issues he still does everything with me.  

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My new favorite snack:

Mini bell peppers with home made hummus.

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12:12 pm Weds:

Bill paying.

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12:12 Thursday

Ok so this isn't really me doing the laundry but I had forgotten my camera so I figured I'd fake it.  And they're as thrilled as I was doing laundry.

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As we say in the tie-dye business "Have a colorful day!" 

What a week!

And it's only Thursday!

Oh Hurley.  Dude, I love you.

First off I'm a freak for Lost.  Last night's show was amazing.  I've dvr'ed it and plan on re-watching again today.  Great article: http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20253910,00.html

Secondly last night at fire spinning someone told me that Michelle is a hooper!  She loves to hula hoop.  This is one more reason for my Michelle Obama crush.  

And thirdly Nancy is home with my treasures from Quartzsite!

Some of the goodies Nancy brought back.

What I've made so far.

And speaking of fire spinning class I finally got a move down that  I've been wanting to learn since last summer.  Two of the teachers tag teamed me & made me break down slowly the move.  All of sudden it just clicked!

I hated to leave class early but come on... Lost is on!  I've waited 9 months for that show.  I'll take the movement class next week.  

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Steve is sick.  This cleanse is hitting him hard.  Poor guy.  He's slept on the couch (his choice not mine) for the past 2 nights.  His sinus's are in pain, he's got a rash on his forehead and he switches between chills and sweats.  

He's been taking apple cider baths to help remove the toxins coming to his skin.  

I've been adding fresh ginger to his tea and extra garlic in most of his meals.  We'll get this bug out of him. 

I, on the other hand, am feeling full of energy, spunk and loving my successful life today!

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12:12 pm Weds

 I left the camera at the store.  I'll up load it tomorrow.

My Onion peeling

Ok.  Here's the deal.

I'm fat. 

Honestly that's not a surprise but to me it's hard to face.  I don't feel comfortable in my skin.  I don't feel comfortable in my environment. I don't feel comfortable around others.  I force myself at times to be sociable.  If you were to meet me in person you'd be surprised that I have these feelings.

Most of my friends are thin.  I see those shows on TV about fat women bonding together and losing weight together.  "We got fat together, we're going to get skinny together."  That's never ever going to happen with my friends.  I weigh about 90-100 pounds more than my 3 closest friends.  

I'm extremely active for a woman of my size.  I've got great rhythm and hate to leave a dance floor.  As much as I love Steve I've given in to the idea that he just has white man's rhythm.  He tries really really  hard to keep up with me on the dance floor but usually I just ditch him & dance either with my friends or by myself.  I'm constantly dancing in the store & will make customers dance with me.

I hike, bike ride and walk.  

But I'm still fat.

I don't feel sexy at all.  I've never been a girly girl feminine person.  I don't wear make up, do my nails and my hair is pretty much thrown back in a pony tail.  

I'm into fashion but don't dress that way.  (I'm LOVING Michelle Obama with her clothing choices.  It's soooo fantastic to have fashion back in the White House.)  I can dress a mannequin, customers, friends but still stand in front of my closet in a quandary of what to wear. 

I never thought at 48 I'd be one of those people who say "I've struggled with my weight my whole life."  Why does it have to be a struggle??  Why can't it be a success?  I want to say "I've been a success with my weight my whole life".  

People who've seen me lose 115 pounds and then gain 50 of it back I'm sure are thinking "she was doing so great".   They're probably not.  It's just my own insecurities.

I've been successful with my food for the past 2.5 weeks.  

I am successful with my food.

I am successful with my food.

I am successful with my food.

I am successful with my weight.

I am successful with my weight.

I am successful with my weight.

I am successful.

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12:12 pm

Making rice cake & hummus.

Bush is OVER!

Happy OBAMA Day

Need I say more?

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12:12 pm Monday

Hagey hanging out in the store.

Hagey is an amazing man.  For years he had the International Burner Hostel out at Burning Man.

I decided to post about him today because he really represents all the good in America.  Every year he opens his home to international travelers either heading out to Burning Man or to people who just need a place to lay their head while traveling during the year.

I'm so glad that I can call Hagey a friend.

I'm out of salt.

This may not seem like a big deal but it is.  I don't eat regular table  salt.  You might just call me a salt snob.

This stems back from when I was a raw foodist and was teaching classes.  Salt is a big deal in the raw food world.  I use only Himalayan sea crystals.  I would teach a whole class on salt and the differences.  

Anyway I had a couple of cases left over after I had quit teaching and I figured it would last me a few years.  I sold one or two bags to former students over the years and this morning when I went to look for a box I was OUT!  What? HuH?  

Now I'm saltless and I have to order.  I have to wait for it to come.  In the meantime I'll have to lower my standards to the regular sea salt.

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Basic Hummus recipe

Soaked & cooked chick peas

Hummus in the food processor

Steve & I were both craving snack foods.  He suggested hummus but I had read to stay away from canned food while doing anti-candida.

No reason why we couldn't do it from dried beans.

So last night I soaked 2 c dried chick peas in water.  I covered the beans with about 2" water on top of the beans.  This made about 4c soaked peas.

This morning I rinsed the chick peas & cooked until soft;  about 2 hours. You can probably put them in your crock pot all day & make the hummus after coming home from work.

Basic hummus:

In your food processor put:

1-2 c chick peas

juice of 1/2 lemon

1 tsp salt

1-2 tsp cumin

Blend until smooth. 

Normally you would ad tahini (sesame butter) but since sesames are out on anti-candida according to Linda Page I used almond butter.  

My first batch with almond butter was very thick and took a while to season up.

I opted out on the 2nd batch.

Today in batch #1 I roasted bell peppers, onions and garlic and added it along with cracked pepper.

In batch #2 I added left over pesto along with kalmata olives.

This will keep for about 3 days in the fridge.  Remember since we're fighting mold in our bodies you don't want to add any from leftovers.  You can also freeze in small containers for future use.

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12:12 pm Sunday

Working on Sunday's blog. And the mess in front of my computer.

I love Sundays

VH1 Presents:

This guy's train wreck of a love life. And my Sunday Morning entertainment.

Steve & get to sleep in on Sundays in the winter. The store is closed & we're not on the road. We usually start our morning with CBS Sunday Morning. 

I enjoy all the reality shows on VH1.  "Rock of Love Bus", "Tool Academy", and "Confessions of a Teen Idol" are my Sunday Morning ritual.   

This morning was a bit different.  I decided instead of slugging on the couch or bed I'd have that sense of accomplishment I love so much. So it's off to watch tv & start on that energy drainer aka my dresses.

My dresser is a wreck.  But this morning I started to organize, throw away, clean and deal with the energy drainer that holds my undies. And I did this all while watching my VH1 train wreck shows.

Dresser before

Top drawer after

Not only did I clean out the top drawer but I threw away single socks, holy undies, bra's missing hooks and a few other things.  

I also threw away two important pieces of clothing.  One was my "green thing" and the other a black turtle neck.  I've had both for over 15 years and they were my "throw on and hang around the house tops".  I've had a longer relationship with those than I have with my husband.  

I cried but I moved forward.  I have plenty of long sleeve t's (I'm in the clothing business for goodness sake).   If these had been Steve's I would have made him get rid of them years ago. 

Part of moving forward is letting go of the past.  It may only be 2 pieces of clothing to you but to me it was part of me.  Big, loose and comforting.  Time to be proud of what I wear and how I represent myself via my clothing even if it is in the privacy of my own home.

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Today's Recipe:

Steve's Jerusalem artichoke & red potato hash browns with poached eggs

Steve woke up this morning & said "I'm thinking hash browns this morning but I'm going to add Jerusalem artichokes."

3-4 pieces JA

3-4 red potatoes

All shreaded

In a heavy pan add oil (we only use olive oil) 

Add JA/potato mixture.

Cook until done.

He topped ours with poached eggs.  YUM!!!

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12:12 pm Saturday

Finishing up new napkins.

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WI:  Down 4 for 10 pounds lost!

Saturday Saturday Saturday

"Did you get your tickets?"

That's been the big question this week in my world.  What tickets?  Why the tickets to BURNINGMAN!  Tickets went on sale this past Wednesday.  

Normally my friend Katie in New Jersey and I buy our tickets at the same time.  We go online together and see who gets theirs first.  Last year she cheered me on.  She was getting a performer's ticket (she's a fire spinner) so she didn't need to get one. 

This year I'm getting a free ticket (I'm doing work for the local BM resource guide) and have been offered a performer's ticket.  Plus I had probably a dozen people offer me tickets last year the month before Burning Man.  

Steve informed me a few weeks ago that he may sit this year out.  Did I think "Oh no! Please come!" Nope.  Instead I thought "But who will put up the shade structure and the evaporation pool for the solar shower??"  

Radical self reliance.  Guess I'm going to have to learn the basic principle of BM. 

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Today's recipe

Scallops with wilted spinach & garlic

Steve splurged at Costco & bought a big bag of frozen scallops. 

Very simple recipe today.

4-6 thawed scallops

Salt

Pepper

1 TBS olive oil

In a hot pan add olive oil.  Seer scallops on both sides.  Salt & pepper.

1-2 cloves garlic chopped up

2-3 handfuls of spinach

In same pan as scallops add spinach & garlic.  

Cook until both are done.

We ate it over brown rice pasta.  YUM!

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12:12 pm

Helped customer (Eric) with a skirt.

Splinters, Shopping, Soup and Sushi

I pee.  A lot.

Let's break down the reason I pee so much.

1.  Upon rising: 12-16 oz of water with cranberry concentrate, apple cider vinegar and maple syrup followed by a rinse of same glass with another 10-12 oz of water.

2.  Hot green tea with breakfast.

3.  Hot Pau d'arco tea mid morning

4.  Green drink:  12-16 oz of water followed by a rinse or 2 of the same glass 10-12 oz each time

5.  More hot tea late afternoon.

6.  Water with each meal

7.  Hot chamomile tea in the evening.

All this means I pee.  A lot.

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Thursday is my day off from the store.  I spent most of the day in my pj's.  The only time I got dressed was to take a package to Fed Ex.  (BTW:  Have you ever noticed the arrow between the E X?  You will now.)

I thought I'd hit my two favorite ethnic markets and pick up a few things.  

Big score on cilantro:  2 big bunches for .40!  

And this is leading up to the SPLINTER part of today's blog.

I bought a baby coconut to make thai soup.  

After hacking off the top & pouring out the liquid into the pot I hacked the coconut in half.  

I grabbed both halves and split it. Got the splinter under my thumb nail.  Yeah.  

Here's a tip for you.  When you go to buy a hatchet go to an Oriental market.  That baby is sharp, has it's own cover, is balanced  and is a great weight.  $14!  

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Thai soup recipe

In a large stock pot:

1-2 qts of water

Chicken pieces (this is optional.  You can use any protein.)

1-2 tsp salt

Ground pepper

Juice from 1 coconut, put flesh into small food processor & blend until rice consistency 

Fresh lemon grass cut in 1-2" pieces

1/4 c thai basil (also known as Holy Basil)

1/4 c cilantro

1" fresh ginger peeled & diced small

1-2 tsp ground coriander

1-2 tsp ground cumin

1 hot chili with seeds & veins removed, cut into very tiny tiny pieces

Open crisper & see what veggies you have.  Cut into pieces and add to soup.

1-2 c cooked brown rice (I cook up a big pot of rice every other day so it's always on hand)

Bring to boil & let boil for 15 mins.  Then lower heat & let simmer for a while or until Steve gets home & says "Something smells great".

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Sushi time

I've been wanting to make sushi since we started this anti-candida diet.  Pretty much everything I've read says that sea veggies are a great anti-fungal.  To me sea veggies = sushi.

I bought my sushi roller (the bamboo stick thing that you roll sushi with) at an Asian market years ago.  They're cheap.  I think less that $2.  

I decided to make canned tuna sushi.

In a mini food processor:

1/2" fresh ginger peeled, cubed and cut into chunks

Juice of 1/4 lemon

1/4 c fresh cilantro

1/2 c fresh spinach

1 tsp whole coriander

1 tsp whole cumin

1/4 tsp salt

Blend

Remove blade

Open can of tuna, pour tuna juice into dog's bowl (optional), using fork flake up tuna & put into processor with green mixture.

Step 2:

Open crisper.  See what veggies you've got.

Wash & slice thinly.

Take sushi roller & cover with plastic wrap.  

Lay 1 piece nori on sushi roller

Smush rice onto nori leaving about 1" of nori on all edges clean

Do 1 strip of tuna filling

Lay veggies in strip

Roll.

These will keep for a day or 2.  Of course this means that you'd have to ignore the fact that they're in the fridge calling out to you.

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12:12pm

Rice hand from rolling sushi.